Passing

Today I found out my grandmother died. Being one of the lucky people who has had the opportunity to know both sets of grandparents, this was hard to hear as she is the first to pass. Memories of hanging out at her house, watching the coo coo clock pop open, being handed Werthers from the crystal candy jar, and her always having my favorite doll ready for me when I came, even as a twenty-four year old was special. My grandma and I shared the similar interest in being artists. She was a wonderfully talented crafter with her hands, making beaded necklaces, earrings, you name it. She tated finite lace dollies and chokers and braclets too. She was the top seller at the craft fairs in Arizona and let me sell my wares there as a kid, always encouraging what I did. She sat with me and taught me how to knit and tat, and sent me home with her personal set of needles when her eyes were getting too old for knitting. I was called "Molly girl" to her. She was also my pen pal, writing me letters in her personal fancy handwriting that always seemed to reflect a classier age.

So as I was driving home from work today I was thinking about her and was sad, sad for myself, sad for my dad, and sad for my 98 year old grandpa who told her every night that he loved her. But then I smiled when I remembered she would get to see her mom again. Her mom passed away when she was a teenager and suddenly I didn't feel as terribly sad because I thought how wonderful that would be for her to see her mom again.

And yet, at the same time, with this being the second death of the year, my Uncle Jack being the first, I have come to realize a different growth in myself. I feel as though I have aged, or rather, grown up this year with the host of events and life changes that have occurred and I feel this strange sense of peace with the year as a whole, as though this last thing, my grandma, has created peace in this growth. And I figure if it takes a little while for her to find her mom maybe my Uncle Jack will help her out. I figure he's having a grand time with his brother anyways and can show her the ropes because I asked him to and he'll laugh his hearty laugh and maybe even bring her a scotch on the rocks, her favorite, as a toast to the new life.